Hi all. This story is a bit different from the others I've written.
Although Natalie does figure prominently in the story, the
sexual interaction in this story is between Nick and LaCroix.
If it is likely to offend you, please pass it by.  The story takes
place immediately following the events in Ashes to Ashes.

This was posted to jadfe in 8/96. I have made a few revisions,
but the story is the same.

Nick & Co. are the property of JP & Co.. I'm only borrowing 
them for a little while.


Forgiveness
part 1/2
by Kathy Whelton
c 1996


    Nick flew up and into the night sky.  He watched as the   
figure of LaCroix and the burning pile that had been Divia
receded into the distance.  So much had happened tonight, but
right now his thoughts were on Natalie.  Nick knew how 
worried she had been when they left the morgue; Divia was
killing all those around LaCroix and she was concerned that he
would be next. He wanted to see her and reassure her that 
he was fine. After everything that had happened, he needed
to see her as well, to reassure himself that there was still some
speck of sanity left in the world.

   Nick landed softly on the balcony of her apartment and 
glanced at his watch.  It was just after three and if she had 
fallen asleep he didn't want to disturb her. He peered cautiously
into the window and spotted Natalie sitting on the couch with 
Sydney on her lap, half-heartedly gazing at the television. Nick 
opened the sliders and stepped in. "You really should lock that 
you know, you never know  who is going to be coming in your
windows at three am."

    "Nick!" Natalie jumped up from the couch sending Sydney 
flying.  She rushed over to him and threw her arms around 
him. "Thank God you're okay.  I was so worried about you."

   Nick slid his arms around her and squeezed her tightly. He 
rested his cheek against hers, soaking in the warmth.  "It's
all over. Divia is dead, hopefully for good this time."

   Natalie pulled back and looked at him closely. He was more
pale and drawn than she had ever seen him. She guided him 
easily to the couch and settled next to him. "Well?" Natalie 
gave Nick a shove on the arm. "The suspense is killing me. What
happened?"


    "Divia was waiting for me when I got back to the loft. We 
fought, and I basically took a dive. I let her think she had killed
me fairly easily.  I knew that once she thought I was dead, she
would go after LaCroix. That gave me back the advantage of
surprise. I followed her back to the Raven. She and LaCroix
were going at it pretty good when I arrived. She never even
realized I was there until it was too late." Nick paused in his 
story, then he took a deep breath and continued. "I came up 
behind her and staked her through the back-- really honorable
stuff." Nick rested his face in his hands.

    "You had no choice, Nick." Natalie stroked his hair gently.
"She would have killed the both of you; she tried once already. 
Look what happened to Vachon and Urs."

    Nick needed no reminder of the deaths of his friends. It was
just so hard for him to believe they were gone. And poor Tracy,
he was not at all sure that what he had asked LaCroix to do
was the right thing. Perhaps he should just go to her and explain
everything. At least then he could comfort her.

    "I know there was nothing else to be done," Nick admitted
grimly. "That doesn't necessarily make it any easier."

     "I still can't believe that LaCroix never told you any of this."
Natalie shook her head in disbelief.

      "LaCroix has never been one to let his weakness show,
especially to me. Even he considered her a monster, and he 
held himself responsible. It was something he didn't want to 
face in himself." Nick nodded his head sadly. "I think I know 
how he feels."

   "You can't compare yourself to Divia, Nick. You're not
a monster." Natalie slid her hand over his, the coolness of it
startling even her.

   "Yeah," he answered vaguely. Nick smiled into her dark blue
eyes. "I'll try and remember that. What I am now is absolutely 
exhausted. I'm going to be heading home." Nick rose stiffly and
headed towards the balcony.

   "You could stay here today," Natalie offered.

    "Thanks, I appreciate the offer, but I'm a mess; I'm hungry 
and the loft is trashed. This way I'll have some time to put a 
few things back together before work tonight."

  "You're planning on going in?" Nat asked, surprised.

   "Well, I did consider calling and saying my grandmother had
died," Nick grinned. "But there would be all those messy details
to explain. It's always better for me to keep busy anyway." He
kissed her lightly on the forehead. "I'll see you tonight." Nick 
stepped out the door and disappeared into the night.


      

     Nick arrived back at the loft only moments ahead of the
dawn. As he had drawn closer to the almost vacant warehouse
that he called home, he could feel the  unmistakable presence 
of his master within. For once he bypassed the mortal routine
that he generally held himself to, and entered easily through
the skylight.  He landed softly in the living area. If LaCroix
was aware of his arrival, he made no acknowledgment of it.   
 
      "Is everything all right LaCroix?" he asked quietly.

       "I have scattered my daughter's ashes to the winds 
Nicholas, if that is what you are asking. She will trouble us
no more," La Croix started without turning around. "I'm not 
sure I thanked you properly for saving my life tonight. Quite 
amazing really, considering that not so long ago you were 
trying to kill me yourself."

     "A lot has happened since then." He let the silence fall 
between them for a moment, uncertain whether to go on. "I do
wish you had told me about this a long time ago. It makes a lot
of things easier to understand."

    "Easier to understand perhaps, but it really doesn't change
anything." LaCroix gripped the edge of the mantle tightly. "I 
fear that Divia has gotten her wish. I am alone."

    "You're not alone LaCroix. I'm here if you need me."
Nick stepped over to LaCroix and placed his hand on LaCroix's
shoulder, squeezing it firmly.

    LaCroix turned and looked at Nick warily, unwilling to let
himself believe the words were not some cruel joke on 
Nicholas' part. There was no coldness in his son's eyes, no
smirk graced his lips. The only thing to be found on Nicholas'
face was an open acceptance of him. A lot had happened 
recently, perhaps even more than LaCroix himself had realized. 
"If only I could believe that, Nicholas."

    "I have no reason to lie to you, LaCroix." Nick smiled
easily. "Not that I ever could anyway."

   LaCroix reached up and brushed an errant lock of hair from
Nicholas's face. It seemed ridiculous that such an absurd 
turn of events should bring them closer. Somehow, tonight, he felt
closer to Nicholas than he had in almost eight centuries. He
remembered the thrill he had felt when he had first seen him
in Paris so many nights ago.  How carefully he had planned 
to make Nicholas one of his family; how frightened that Janette
would ruin it all in a moment of passion.  She had not failed 
him; she truly was a daughter of LaCroix.  LaCroix leaned over
and kissed Nick tenderly on the lips.

    Nick drew back suddenly, startled by his master's advance.
He stumbled, openly searching for the right words."I..we...we're 
both exhausted, LaCroix. Perhaps we should get some sleep. 
Things will be a lot clearer this evening, after some rest."

   "I am seeing things very clearly right now, Nicholas, and
what I need right now is not sleep. What I need right now is 
you." LaCroix reached down and took both of Nick's hands into
his own.

    Nick shifted uncomfortably. He had never seen LaCroix
so vulnerable, exposing himself so openly to his rejection.
He had slowly come to see LaCroix not as the monster he had
once thought him to be, but someone just as trapped  by 
circumstance as he was. He really did not want to destroy 
the fragile relationship that seemed to be developing between 
them, but he also wondered what the ultimate cost of 
submission might be.

    "I'm not sure..." Nick started, the uncertainty evident in his
voice.

     "I'm sure enough for both of us, Nicholas. I need to 
not be alone tonight." LaCroix  lightly caressed the side 
of Nick's face and began stroking his hair.

   Nick hesitated, then he leaned forward and returned the kiss.
LaCroix's hands went quickly to the buttons of Nick's shirt. He 
undid them swiftly, then tossed Nick's shirt and jacket onto 
the floor. LaCroix ran his hands across Nick's chest and back,
marveling, as he always did, at the beauty of his protégé's
body.  He leaned in and kissed Nick again much more 
passionately than before, his tongue roaming freely in Nick's 
mouth. LaCroix felt rather than heard the intake of Nick's breath 
as he lightly caressed his recessed fangs. His son had
held himself too tightly in control for far too long.

    He quickly discarded his own shirt, allowing the smooth 
silk to slide carelessly off his powerful neck and shoulders. He
 took Nicholas by the hand and led him to the couch. LaCroix 
turned his attention to Nicholas's pants. He unbuckled the belt 
and slid the trousers off of Nick's hips, his hands lingering 
against the well muscled flanks as he did so.  Nick sat abruptly, 
blindly kicking his shoes and pants. LaCroix's lips were on him
immediately, showering his inner thighs with kisses.

   Nick's excitement grew rapidly, his penis swelling. LaCroix
ran his tongue playfully down the erect member, teasing the 
foreskin lightly with his tongue. Like a  man who had been 
denied sustenance far too long, LaCroix  took the entire shaft 
into his mouth. He began sucking, softly at first, but swiftly 
increasing his intensity.  He raked the sharp edge of his fangs 
gently along the length on Nicholas's shaft, careful to avoid the 
drawing of blood. He wasn't ready for that, no, not yet. LaCroix 
could feel his own member hardening in response to his 
actions. 

  Nicholas cried out in pleasure, surprised at the ferocity of 
LaCroix's attentions.  In the past, his master could be counted
on to be almost tortuously deliberate in his love making. There
was no evidence of that tonight.  LaCroix took him deeply
into his throat once again. Nick gasped, overcome by the
powerful sensation,  then climaxed with an embarrassing 
swiftness.

   "This celibate lifestyle you have been living has done you no
good, Nicholas," remarked LaCroix.

    "I'm sorry," Nick replied softly, his mind and body still 
reeling from the intensity of LaCroix's actions. 

     "No matter." LaCroix continued to casually caress Nicholas
as he spoke, running his long, tapered hands over his thighs.
"Perhaps I got a bit carried away as well." He reached over
and stroked Nicholas's velvety sac, brushing his fingers across
the sensitive hairs that lay beyond.  Nick eased against his
hand, responsive to his master's touch. 

   LaCroix removed his hands and undressed in silence, 
unwilling to chance breaking the spell, or even worse, awake
and find this had all been a dream. He reached out and caressed
Nicholas once more, his hand roaming over every inch of this
body he had once known as well as his own. His own passion
flared at the sight of Nicholas, sprawled so carelessly against 
the seat.  "Is there something we can use?" he asked softly.

   Nick slid onto his knees and faced the couch, stretching his 
long form across the seat. "It's all right, LaCroix," he responded, 
half afraid that if he went even as far as the bedroom, he would 
change his mind. He could hear the need in LaCroix voice, and 
it frightened him. LaCroix never seemed to need for anything,
not in all the long years that he had known him. 

    LaCroix spread Nicholas' legs apart with his knee. It had 
been a long time, a very long time since he had taken his son 
in this way and the anticipation threatened to overwhelm him. He
squeezed a few reluctant drops of pre-cum from the tip of his 
penis and smeared it over himself. He pressed the hard edge 
of his member against Nicholas. Nick tensed and withdrew 
from the first intrusion. LaCroix hesitated. "Nicholas?" he 
questioned softly.

     "Go ahead, LaCroix," came the strained reply.

      LaCroix sat back on his heels. "Nicholas, if this is not 
something you want, I have no desire to force you."

     Nick hesitated briefly, then turned and faced his lover, his
master. "I can't lie to you LaCroix, you'll know the truth soon 
enough in my blood," he paused. "But there is nothing wrong 
with my wanting this for *you*."

    Nick kissed LaCroix passionately on the lips, his tongue 
exploring the other's mouth, brushing itself against the sensitive
canines.  Nick pulled LaCroix closer and began patiently
massaging his flagging member,  rubbing his hand carefully
down the length. He remembered how sensitive the area 
beneath LaCroix's foreskin was and he teased it gently.

   LaCroix gasped at the sensation. "Nicholas," he managed 
with some difficulty, "you're cheating."

    Nick smiled broadly. "So I am, LaCroix, so I am. I 
don't remember your ever complaining before."

    "It...wasn't...exactly a complaint," LaCroix replied. He ran
his fingers lightly through Nicholas' hair, then pulled him close
and kissed him deeply, all the while cursing whatever dark god
had given Nicholas this power over him.

   Nick turned his back to LaCroix once again and rested across
sofa. LaCroix began slowly rubbing Nicholas' back, planting it 
with soft kisses. He then moistened his fingertips liberally
with saliva and began stroking Nicholas' still tightened orifice. 
Slowly LaCroix inserted one finger, then another  into Nicholas' 
rectum, moving it easily back and forth. He felt Nicholas slowly 
begin to relax with his tender ministrations.  LaCroix withdrew 
his fingers and gently entered him.

   Nick felt his fear and tension return and he forced himself to 
relax into the pressure. Memories came to him, memories of a 
time when LaCroix's advances were not always so considerate. 
He pushed them away. He thought back on how kind and patient 
LaCroix had been the first time he had taken him like this.  Nick 
smiled at how desperately he had clung to the notion that this 
act of love was somehow an affront to his masculinity. There 
had been so much love between them then. He clung to the 
memory.

   Pain slowly became pleasure as Nick slowly accepted 
the full length of LaCroix's cool shaft into him. He felt LaCroix's 
smooth member press against his gland and he moaned softly, 
pressing himself  backwards and into LaCroix.  A soft moan 
escaped Nicholas' lips as he began rocking back and forth.

  LaCroix's rhythm quickened and Nick sensed his growing
excitement. Nick arched up and tilted his head, exposing his
neck for LaCroix. Immediately he felt his master's fangs sink
into him.

   The warm blood exploded in LaCroix's mouth. He tasted love
there. Not the desire or passion for him that he would have 
hoped, but love. Love, acceptance, forgiveness. The feelings
warmed his cold heart.

   Nick's excitement had been building as well. He took LaCroix's 
hand and bit deeply into his wrist. He felt LaCroix's
seed explode within him. They both lay still for a while. Nick
felt LaCroix's now limp member slip from him. They climbed up
onto the couch and into each others arms. 

    "Thank you, Nicholas" LaCroix whispered into his ear.

     "Your welcome, LaCroix," Nick murmured softly in
 response. He pulled his lover's arms more tightly around him.
They were both asleep in minutes.


End part 1
Comments welcome
Kathy 103045.2473@Compuserve.com



Forgiveness
part 2/2
by Kathy Whelton
c 1996


    Natalie pulled her car into one of the numerous empty
spaces outside the loft. It was still early, the winter sun 
shining brightly overhead, but her concern over Nick had
given her little sleep since he had left and she figured that she
might as well do something about it. He had seemed so worn 
this morning when he left. He had lost two friends yesterday; two 
friends who were never supposed to die. Natalie also knew that 
the blood link between himself and Divia bothered him more 
than he would probably admit. Even if he had managed
to fall asleep, she could at least straighten up the loft a bit
until he awoke.

    Natalie slowly ascended the back stairs to Nick's apartment.
If he were asleep, the last thing he needed was to be awakened
by the elevator. Natalie stepped into the darkened interior; Nick 
certainly hadn't been kidding when he said that the loft had been 
trashed. Nick's art supplies were scattered throughout 
the open area. She glanced down as she caught the heel of
her shoe and realized that it was Nick's shirt she was stepping
on. That was odd; she had never known Nick to be anything
but fastidious when it came to his clothing.

     She froze as she stepped nearer to the couch. On the couch 
were Nick and LaCroix. They both appeared to be sound asleep, 
they were also both totally naked, their limbs intertwined. Natalie 
began slowly backing her way to the door. She forced herself to 
go carefully and quietly; the last thing she needed was for either 
one of them to wake up and find her there. 

    Natalie broke into a run as made it down the last stair.
Even if either one of them woke up at this point, they couldn't
follow her outside. She pulled her car door shut with a slam
and sat, unmoving, at the wheel until the cold air finally 
forced her to start the engine.

   The sharp click of his answering machine startled Nick from
his sleep. He glanced quickly at the clock. He had somehow
managed to sleep well past the setting of the sun. 
   
    "Knight, this is Capt. Reese. I know it's a little early but I 
have a couple of guys out sick and now your partner has 
booked off for a couple days with some personal crisis."

  Nick picked up the phone wearily."I'm here, Captain," he sighed.  
He quickly jotted down the address of the murder scene. The ME 
was already enroute. Nick returned the receiver to its cradle and
glanced around the empty room.  He was alone in the loft.




   It always seemed vaguely obscene to smile at the site of
a murder investigation. Nick was usually better at controlling
the impulse, but tonight, he couldn't help himself. He quickly
spotted  Natalie's form, leaning into the front seat of a 
cab and grinned broadly. It was really good to see her, he 
needed a friendly face right about now.

    "Hi, Nat," Nick stated, trying his best to keep his demeanor
at least vaguely professional. "What's up?"

    "Off hand, I would say it was a body." Natalie stood abruptly, 
careful to avoid his gaze, and walked over to one of the forensics 
people. Damn, it was just her luck that he would pull the case.

    Nick followed her and attempted once more to engage her
in conversation. "Ah, Nat, do you think you could give me a
little more here?"

    Natalie noticed that Joe Reese had tuned into their 
conversation. "The victim was Sam Walsh, driver of the cab.
He took a single shot to his back, just below the scapula.
It looks like a small caliber, maybe a twenty-two, too small
to be the cause of death," she recited in a unvarying monotone.
Natalie yanked open the door to her car and slid into the seat.
"I'll send the prelim to you at the station as soon as I am done."
She threw the car into reverse and sped off.


    Natalie brushed the hair out of her eyes and put her final
signature on the report. She felt like a rookie taking four 
hours to do a post as simple as this one had been, but she had
found it next to impossible to keep herself focused on the
case. Every time she closed her eyes, she could see them,
lying there, wrapped around one another. Damn them both
to hell anyway. They'd probably both have a big laugh if they
could see how upset she was. What a fool she had been,
believing that he really still wanted to be cured, hoping that
one day they could be together. What a joke, what a horrible
joke the whole thing had been.

    Nick paused briefly before entering the autopsy room.
Natalie had said that she'd send the preliminary report over,
but that had been hours ago and he had gone as far as he
could with the investigation until he had a cause of death. He
also needed to know what had brought about this sudden
change of heart before it went any further. Maybe once she
had time to really think about Divia, the monster that she
was, and his close connection to her, Natalie had begun to
have second thoughts about their whole relationship.

    "Hey, Nat," Nick started lightly. "I know you said you'd
get the preliminary report to me at the station, but I was
in the neighborhood..."
   
     Natalie dropped her eyes abruptly, looking at the report
with an intense interest "Like I said it was a twenty-two 
caliber, a shot to the back. The slug is over there." She pointed
to the scale hanging above the autopsy table. "That didn't kill him, 
though. He had bad coronary disease and there 
is evidence of acute coronary thrombosis. In short, he died of 
a myocardial infarction,  probably brought on by the stress of being 
shot."  She took the clipboard she had been holding and shoved 
it at him, hitting him in the chest.      

     "Now are you going to tell me what's wrong?" he asked
gently.

      Her face was red. There wasn't much point in delaying this.
The sooner it was done with, the sooner she could get back
to whatever life it was she had left before Nick Knight.  "I was 
at the loft this afternoon Nick."

    "Oh," he responded. This afternoon. There was probably
no hope that LaCroix had made his silent departure prior
to that.

     "Oh? That's it, Nick? I'm afraid you're going to have to do 
better than that."
 
   "You left without waking me?" he tried cautiously.

   "It didn't seem like a real good idea at the time, Nick.  You
already had company and you know what they say --three's a 
crowd. Look..," she stammered. "I've been trying really hard 
not to jump to any conclusions. But I have to tell you it looked
like..."

  Nick sat down. "It probably looked exactly like what it was,"
he said quietly.

     They were interrupted by the sound of Nick's cellular
phone ringing. "Knight." He listened carefully to Joe Reese
on the other end of the line. "Okay, I'll be right there." 

    Nick rose stiffly from his seat. "The uniforms picked up 
a man fitting the description of our suspect. They're bringing 
him in for questioning. I need to do the interview." Nick reached 
out and lightly touched Natalie's arm. "I have to go."

    Natalie quickly pulled her arm away from his touch. "Sure,
fine," she responded.

    Nick dropped his hand to his side. "I'll come by later 
and we'll talk," he said.
 




    Nick left the station a few hours later. The suspect had 
confessed without too much difficulty. He had done a number
of cab robberies and this one had gone bad. It would be up to 
the Crown to determine the charges.

    He sat in the caddy. Should he go to see LaCroix first or
Natalie? Maybe he could just drive into the lake?  Somehow
that sounded like the best option at the moment.



    Nick pulled up to the Raven, surprised to see that not only
was the club open,  there was a line to get in that reached 
halfway down the block. Someone he had never seen
was on the door, a mortal, which was surprising. It was unlike
LaCroix to put a human in a position of trust, considering
their clientele.

    Nick glanced around quickly. The club still showed much
of the damage that had occurred the night before. The large
window into the broadcast booth was still broken, its seat
vacant.  He spotted LaCroix seated at the end of the bar, alone,
nursing a glass of the house special. Nick noticed that there
was not a single vampire in the place, save themselves. Even
the bartender was mortal.

    "Perhaps I should put decapitated corpses in the beer fridge
more often, it's done wonders for business," commented
LaCroix as Nick stepped behind him.

     "You left without saying good-bye," Nick stated quietly.

      "I couldn't bear to see the regret, the resentment in your 
eyes Nicholas."

      Nick slid onto the bar stool next to his master. "I have no 
regrets for what happened between us LaCroix," he said softly.
Nick placed his hand on top of LaCroix's, allowing their fingers
to intertwine. "I'm glad I could be there for you."

    "For *me*," LaCroix emphasized. "That is the key word 
here, is it not?"

    Nick sighed and wondered if indeed he had made a mistake.
"You knew that this morning. I'm not sorry for what happened,
LaCroix, but I don't want there to be any misunderstanding,"
he paused. "I'm not interested in an ongoing physical relationship
 with you," he said it as gently as possible. "I'm glad that we've been 
able to put a lot of the pain behind us. I want us to be friends, but 
that's all that I want."

    "You love her very much."

     "Yes I do," Nick replied. There was no point in trying to 
hide it any longer.

     "She was at the loft this afternoon, you know." He turned 
and met Nick's eyes. "I'm afraid I put you in a rather 
compromising situation."

    "I know," he responded grimly. " I'm headed there now to 
try and work this out between. To try and explain."

     "This is going to take some explaining, I'm afraid.  I do 
hope that she is up to it. I wish you luck," he said honestly.
"Goodnight Nicholas."

     "Goodnight LaCroix." Nick slid his arms around LaCroix 
and embraced him firmly. "Thank you."




    Nick raised his hand for the third time to knock on the 
door that stood in front of him and, once again, let it fall.
He tried to tell himself that nothing, not the passage of time,
not his silent prayers would make this any easier. He finally
summoned the courage and rapped lightly against the
wood. He could hear her stir inside and wondered for a 
moment if she would even let him in. The door swung open
and Natalie's face appeared at the crack in the doorway. "I'm 
afraid it's the best I could do at  four am." He brought the
bedraggled bouquet that he held in his left hand into her
range of vision.

    Natalie swung the door open, allowing him to enter, ignoring 
the flowers that he held clumsily in his hand. She
tightened the robe around her and stuffed the tissue that she
held back into her deep pocket.

    Nick shifted uncomfortably. Now that he was here, how
the hell was he supposed to start this little conversation? "I'm 
sorry you have been so hurt by this, Nat. I never meant for
this to happen.  It seems to be something I do quite well 
without ever trying."

    "You know Nick, I *really* don't want to talk about this
right now." 

    "Believe me, it not something I really want to talk about
either," he returned. "Unfortunately, I think we need to talk
about it."
   
   Natalie's jaw clenched tightly. In reality, there was nothing
between them. It only existed in her mind, her heart. He had
never promised her anything, certainly not fidelity. The last
thing she wanted to do was sprout accusations at him and
make herself seem more the fool than she already felt.  "I 
don't know...we...the setbacks we've had lately," she stammered.

    "This has nothing to do with the setbacks," Nick stated
firmly.

     Natalie felt her shoulders sag. Perhaps it was better to get
this all out in the open, at least then it would be done with.
"Nick I felt like such a idiot standing there in the loft today.
I don't know what to think anymore. All this time...I thought
maybe..." She turned and met his eyes, determined to see the
truth in them. " Have you been stringing me along all this time,
Nick? Playing me for a fool?"

    Nick took Natalie by the shoulders and looked her directly
in the face. "You know in your heart that's not true. I've
always tried to be honest with you," he paused. "I care about
you very much; I never wanted to see you get hurt like this."

    "Then you have to tell me what this is all about, Nick. I need
to understand it." Natalie couldn't contain it any longer. "I mean 
LaCroix?" she questioned incredulously.

    Nick stiffened visibly. "Is that what the problem is? That it
was LaCroix, that it was another man? Would you be this
upset if you had found me on the couch with Janette?"

   Natalie pulled away from him. She'd have been furious if
she'd found him with Janette, but she had to admit that the
idea of him being with another man had made her distinctly
uncomfortable. "You bet you're ass I would," she responded.
Natalie had always considered herself liberal, open minded. It
 was hard for her to admit, even to herself, that this was more 
than a little bit of what was bothering her. The last thing that
they needed were more lies between them. "Well, maybe not
*quite* this upset," she said honestly. She hesitated. "That's 
not an easy thing for me to admit."

    Nick tried to smile. "It was honest and I appreciate that."  
 He took a deep breath and continued, surprised at how hard 
it was to put it into words. "You must have guessed that in the 
past LaCroix and I were lovers." He hurried on without giving 
her time to respond. "I'm sorry if this offends you. It tends to 
be part of the master vampire/fledgling thing. At least it was 
for us," he paused and she could hear the pain in his voice.
"The relationship was not always a consensual one." 

    Natalie rested her head against his chest, sensing that it
would be easier for him to continue without facing her. She
rubbed her hand across his arm. "Go on," she encouraged
gently.

    "When I got back to the loft this morning he was waiting for
me. I've never seen him so hurt, so vulnerable. He needed me,
me, not some anonymous body. My love, my acceptance.
I just couldn't reject him. Giving him my body was the easy part; 
forgiving him for the past, now that was tough."

     The depth of his humanity, his compassion never failed to
astonish her. Especially since they were the traits he so often
failed to acknowledge in himself. Natalie looked up into his
eyes and brought her arms around his waist.

    Nick continued. "It's you that I love Natalie; it's you that I
want more than anything else in the world. But if you don't 
want to see me anymore, I'll understand."

   Natalie looked up and answered him the best way she could 
think of.  She kissed him warmly on the lips. "It seems like I've
been jumping to some pretty wrong conclusions after all. Come
on," she said, taking him by the hand. "Let's sit down"

   "Actually, right now, I'd *really* prefer to stand." He grinned
in response to her puzzled look. "Never mind, bad joke."

    They settled on the couch, in each others arms. "What's 
going to happen with you two now?" she asked.

     "We talked today and I made it clear that the only thing I 
was interested in was his friendship. He seemed okay with that,
but you know LaCroix, only time will tell."

    Natalie yawned. "We should really both get some sleep."

    Nick glanced outside at the rapidly brightening sky. "It looks
like you have a houseguest for the day. You go ahead into
the bedroom, I'll pull the curtains and crash here."

    "Come upstairs with me Nick."

    "Nat...."

     "No pressure, no expectations, I promise. I just want you 
close to me." She pulled him to his fee and he followed her
into her room. 

     "Oh, I get it!" she said as they reached the doorway to
the bedroom. 


    The End
     Comments welcome
      Kathy 103045.2473@Compuserve.com








       

     



 
^@