From: Cindy Ingram To: Nancy E. Kaminski Subject: Archive: Heart's Desire Date: Friday, February 25, 2000 1:12 AM Here's "Heart's Desire" (November 1999) This story is based on the Forever Knight television series created by J. Parriott and B. Cohen. The characters belong to TPTB at Sony and Columbia, who graciously allow us to play with them from time to time. No copyright infringement intended. Permission granted to archive on Mel's FK fanfic site and the ftp site. This crept into my head while I was working on another story and wouldn't leave. I decided to stop and write it, then hopefully move on. My apologies if you find it a bit ... over the top? It's been that kind of month. And, nope, it isn't an LK story. =============================== Heart's Desire (01/01) by Cindy Ingram November 1999 =============================== Cold in the dust this perished heart must lie, But that which warmed it once shall never die! --Thomas Campbell, "The Pleasures of Hope" She was dying, and she didn't care. For so much of her life, she'd played it safe -- studying instead of partying, working instead of socializing, concealing her feelings behind jokes and false bravado rather than acknowledge how vulnerable she could be. Even going into pathology, while on the surface might have seemed a daring move for a female medical student, was just one more in a long line of safety nets. Though her work helped to save lives by taking killers off the streets, she only dealt with the aftermath. The power over life and death was something others wielded, not her. Yes, she'd always played it safe ... until the night she'd met him. Until that one irrevocable moment when she'd reached out her hand and touched the face of the unknown. But the moment had passed, and though she suddenly found herself caught between two worlds -- the mortal and the immortal, what was and what might be -- the risks she took were of the body, not the heart. Ally and confidante, longing to be more. But this night, having grown so tired of playing it safe, she had again taken a chance. It wasn't planned. But his eyes had been so sad, his optimism wavering. Without really knowing how it happened, she was in his arms, consoling them both with sweet intimacy, tormenting them both with the taste of forbidden fruit. It was selfish. She was ashamed. But she couldn't help herself. The pillar of strength had crumbled beneath the weight of her own desires. Soft touches turned to feverish kisses, shared whispers, quiet sighs. Clothes were shed, along with inhibitions. Rational thought sank beneath a wave of long-denied passion, at last appeased with exquisite consummation of the body and the blood. She was dying, but she felt no fear. The gentle penetration of his fangs had brought an end to years of uncertainty. Unspoken questions were answered; a lonely void was filled. He had so desperately wanted to protect her, from himself most of all. But her actions had beguiled him into abandoning that resolve, reason lost in a flood of raw emotion. Now, a price would be paid for her insistence. A distant part of her mind grieved that this would be their last time together -- their *only* time together. She silenced it with savage determination. Regret would not be her final gift to him, the last thing he read in her blood. Still, she feared he would allow her no other legacy -- that in her need, she had become his downfall. And her heart cried out for another ending even as the darkness swirled around her, engulfing her, drawing her away from that perfect moment. No longer could she feel the tender strength of his arms as they cradled her. No longer could she savor the soft pressure of his lips against her neck. But she sensed his presence -- darkness and light, intertwined, touching her mind in a bittersweet caress, filling her with a warmth her body no longer possessed. She mourned, knowing the joyous rapture that bound him to her would inevitably give way to horror as reason replaced hunger and unforgiving reality returned full force. There was no way to spare him the anguish to come. Her moment of weakness had betrayed them both. But, God help her, she could not find it within her to be sorry. She was dying, and she'd never been happier. With her last breath, she revealed it all -- the love she felt, her joy in knowing it was returned, the ecstasy of long-awaited consummation, her guilt for the added burden he would carry, the forgiveness she knew he would crave but never allow himself. And above all, her heartfelt wish he would one day have what she had tried and failed to find for him. She gave him everything ... And prayed it would be enough. ============= Finis Comments, complaints and lavish words of praise to: "Cindy Ingram" ======================================================== My FK fiction page: http://people.mn.mediaone.net/nancykam/cific.html ======================================================== What's another word for thesaurus? ("Say good Knight, Gracie." -- G. Burns)